My mom passed away 7 months ago. Her and I were really close and she was the only person that I would ever go to and talk about things with. Well now shes gone and so is that. I took it very hard when she died, I ended up being heavily sedated and didn’t get out of bed for the following 2 weeks except for her memorial which between that and the two weeks following, I remember very very little. After two weeks, and being the mother of 2 kids who needed me, I drug myself out of bed, stopped all sedatives and began life again with out my mother. And OMG it has been so hard. People ALWAYS say it gets easier with time. I am finding it getting harder lately. I still cant eve look at a picture of her. SOO, being there’s no grief support groups in my area and it’s becoming clear to me that I need some thing. So, my question is does anyone know of or a member of an online grief support group that discusses this issue and not every thing but? Thank you
I’m sorry for your loss. The death of my mother was the hardest thing in the world for me and my sisters. I hope this will help: http://www.growthhouse.org/death.html The suggestion of calling a suicide hotline to ask for advice is a good one.
My mother died of cancer, and the support group run by the American Cancer Society is an excellent one. I also saw a therapist for a while and spent a couple years on antidepressants, which helped me greatly although I know it’s not for everyone. Things get better, and there will be a day when you can remember your mom with love and joy and gratitude and without tears. Good luck.
(Grief Support) (Forgiveness) (Healing) – Mary’s Story
Grief and loss does not have to be an experience of endless suffering. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross gave us the stages of dying and provided a framework for understanding the grieving process. Over the years there have been a variety of esoteric approaches to this experience, none of which addressed the core issue of “feelings”. A healthier approach to grief and loss recovery is readily available.
I would like to suggest that we have entered a period where our population has become more comfortable with their feeling nature. Feelings lie at the core of the grieving experience, and our feelings offer a better choice for dealing with grief and loss. By addressing this core component, we temper the shock and trauma associated with grief and loss while placing ourselves on a path toward genuine healing.
Platitudes like “It’s God’s Will” or “Just have faith” or “It was meant to be” do not direct us to the true experience of our loss. Grief and loss are subjective emotional experiences. They cut to the core of our being and hit us in our heart and feeling centre. This is where the damage lies and where our healing strategies need be applied. Understood in this context, we can see why platitudes have failed. Emotions and feelings need to be talked about openly and shared with kind receptive supporters. Platitudes not only fail, but cause additional damage when individuals begin to feel guilty or inadequate for not grieving “properly”.
The answer to healing grief and loss lies with modern psychology and the lessons of psychotherapy. When people are encouraged to talk about their feelings, they heal more quickly than through all other methods combined.
Honest self-relating is required here. Defenses, emotional blockages, addictions and other strategies of denial block the flow of feeling energy. These common forms of escape prevail until we learn that feeling and expressing emotions are far more desirable because they actually promote healing.
War has taught us that repression of feelings and emotions becomes manifested in a condition called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Once the experts identified it, they could treat it. They engaged PTSD sufferers in group therapy, one on one counseling and journaling, the three best ways for releasing feelings associated with trauma.
We have also learned that addiction distracts us from feelings we want to avoid. Recovery from addiction, oddly enough, is not much different than dealing with grief and loss. Expressing feelings in a safe and receptive environment is the key to breaking the back of any addiction and denial process.
Harboring the idea that death and dying are unfair and must be resisted is fruitless. Everything on this planet is born, lives and dies. The only species conscious of this is humans. It is this gift of consciousness that provides us with the opportunity to meaningfully come to terms with our mortality.
It is time for a straightforward approach to grief and loss, one that sees us address the experience at its core, our heart and feeling centre. Dealing with feelings and emotions is simply part of being human. Death, dying, grief and loss are part of life’s process. We can deal with their effects by joining support groups, reading grief books that acknowledge feelings, personal journaling or consulting a therapist. These experiences can move us toward emotional healing and maturity.
This approach deals effectively with grief and loss at its feeling core. There are many losses to be dealt with in a lifetime. Whether it’s the loss of a job, a broken relationship or the death of a loved one, this feeling-based approach will lead to a healthy recovery.
About the Author
Maurice Turmel holds a PhD in Counseling Psychology. He was a practicing therapist for 25 years providing counseling and therapy to individuals, groups, organizations and families. He is the author of “The Voice – A Metaphor for Personal Development”; “Mythical Times – Exploring Life, Love & Purpose”; and “When Angels Call – Spiritual and Emotional Recovery from Grief and Loss”. He hosts his own radio show on BlogTalkRadio.com – “The Personal Growth Advisor.”
http://personalgrowthadvisor.com
http://www.griefandlossrecovery.com
Steps of grief therapy for grief support groups on dying grief
[simpleaffiliate source="amazon" results="10"]grief support groups[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="cj" results="10"]grief support groups[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="clickbank" results="10"]grief support groups[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="linkshare" results="10"]grief support groups[/simpleaffiliate]
Is there life after divorce? Is it possible to find a love again? The answers to both questions are yes. Every relationship is different and each person’s threshold of emotional pain and grief varies so there is no set timelines on how long it will take to move on with your life. The most important thing is to not rush into a new relationship while you still have old baggage latched onto you.
Of course, you will always have baggage from your failed marriage, but in time the load will lessen and you will be able to move more lightly towards a new beginning. In the early stages following your divorce, what should you do? There are many variables here as well, but it all begins with reflection and personal responsibility.
You are now a mature single with a good deal of life experience and you need to begin to sift through the good, the bad and the ugly. You need to spend some time alone with yourself, evaluating how the situation in your marriage fell apart. A relationship does not break over time, but rather slowly crumbles. So, you need to try to look at the situation with fresh eyes. Take responsibility for your own actions and analyze what your part was in the demise of the marriage. You should then take stock of how your partner fared in this situation, but always remember that this is for learning purposes only and not for a blame game. It takes two to tango and you both said “I do,” and you both did do the damage.
Once you have had a chance to take stock of the fallen pieces of your life, you can decide if you need to speak to a counselor or begin attending a divorce recovery support group. All of this damage control must be completed before you start the dating seeking process to find a new love. If you just patch up the leaks, when the torrential rains come again, and they will in every new relationship, the patches won’t hold and you’ll be back in the same situation. You need to say goodbye to patching up the holes and get a new and improved you.
It’s not going to be easy to work through the emotional aches of a divorce, so give in to the progression and accept the current place you are in. Go with the flow of the healing process and let it fully play out so that you can be free of that baggage and ready to move on to a new day. This will be a long process, so set immediate, short-term and long-term goals that you want to begin to accomplish. These goals should always have the purpose of positively influencing your emotional, physical and spiritual health. You need to take care of all of you before you can even think of learning to love another person, the right way, again.
When you have succeeded in overcoming the uphill battle of dealing with the grief of a broken marriage, you can start to think about dating again. Don’t dive in headfirst. Take a breath. You may be interested in checking out the sites www.seekingmarriage.com and www.maturesinglesonly.com when you’re ready to get back into the dating seeking world. Both online companies are safe and run thorough background checks on their members. However, learn from your past mistakes. No one is perfect in this world, but we can try to make a difference by being the best individual that we can be.
About the Author
Allan Tan is an experienced writer on seeking dating and relationships. He has been writing for many years and has had many articles published. Some of Allan’s most favorite topics to write on include single professionals, mature daters, relationships, and matchmaking. Allan’s articles are well written and memorable. They are especially great for anyone looking to begin dating and still keep up with their daily activities.
Bereavement Jenslove.com online support group free memorial page upload pictures,video,muis,blog and forum free meet friends
[simpleaffiliate source="amazon" results="10"]online grief support groups[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="cj" results="10"]online grief support groups[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="clickbank" results="10"]online grief support groups[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="linkshare" results="10"]online grief support groups[/simpleaffiliate]
I have a friend who lost a member of their family … how do I offer my support?
This is a platonic male friend (online friend only) whom I used to work with in person some 10 years ago. We talk daily via IM. He had sent me a MySpace message that he lost a family member last night and I basically responded that I was sorry to hear about his loss and that if he needed to talk, he knew where I was (referring to Yahoo Messenger and e-mail), and signed off as, “Hugs, (my name).” I want to be a friend, but at the same time I want to give him space while he’s dealing with his grief. Should I just sit back and let him talk when and if he needs to? Is this the proper thing to do? (I remember when I lost my mother, I didn’t want people to come to me with their condolences; I came to people to talk when I was ready.)
I’m also hoping that he does not read the “Hugs, (my name)” sign-off as a more-than-a-friend gesture, because that is not how I intended it … but because we talk like two female friends, sometimes I forget he’s a male.
i think you have the right frame of mind. offer your shoulder, but let him go to you. just let him know that you are there whenever he needs you. the “hugs” i dont think will be taken as a more than friend thing. hugging is a friendly gesture and “handshake (your name)” would be a very akward one.
You are never prepared for the death of a loved one, even when that death comes after a long and serious illness. And when the loss is sudden and unexpected, as it was for me, the shock can be overwhelming. No matter the circumstances of loss, there is always sadness, heartache, and emptiness. As you struggle to go on with life after your loved one has died, you face painful questions. How can you handle the anguish of grief? How can you find peach and joy and meaning in life? How can you learn to trust life and love again?
Working Your Way Through
One fateful day years ago, a state trooper told me that a car accident had taken the lives of my wife, Chrissie, our oldest daughter, Christine, and my wife’s parents, who were visiting at the time. After the accident, in trying to help my two surviving understand what had happened, I realized that I was utterly vacant, unsure, and angry. I experienced deep depression for the first time in my life. In a real way though my need to help Aimee and Katie sort through their feelings and questions helped me sort through my own. Although I have never come up with any simple answers or solutions to the pain of loss. I do have some thoughts about grieving. I hope they will bring you strength and aid as you cope with the loss of your loved one.
Accept Your Feelings
Whether your loss has come in a swift and dramatic fashion or was long expected, your feelings are no doubt intense and painful. Along with sadness, you may be hit by a flood of other, sometimes conflicting feelings: anger, helplessness, fear, guilt, regret, loneliness, despair. I discovered that it does no good to fight such feelings. Pushing them down only seems to make them come back with even greater fury. Instead, I had to learn to respect these feelings as part of me-a testimony to my intense love and loss. And I needed to give them time and space to express themselves. Only when I was able to accept and even embrace such feelings as natural and normal and an integral part of my healing process was I able to work through them. Remain open to the hurt within you. At times you may want to suppress or avoid it with distractions and busyness. That’s understandable, and may even be necessary sometimes, but eventually your emotions will surface; grief will demand your attention. Give it that attention willingly and you will make the process easier.
Let People Know What You Need
In their efforts to comfort me, well-meaning people sometimes actually caused me discomfort. Their words about “God’s will,” or about how they knew “just how I feel,” or about how things “always work out for the best,” rang hollow. I found that the best solution was to tell them gently abut honestly what I needed from them: “Thank you, but I need to grieve in my own way and on my own timetable. Mostly, I want you to just be with me.” When someone’s attempt to comfort you only deepens the hurt, remind yourself of that person’s good intentions and forgive him or her for not understanding. If you find yourself overwhelmed by life’s daily responsibilities, as you surely will at this stressful time, call on those around you for assistance. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need-people will respond with amazing generosity. Friends and family often want to help, but don’t know how. If you let them know specific ways they can help, you will be doing them, as well as yourself a favor. “Be open to the pain of your broken heart. God enters through its brokenness.”
Treasure Your Relationships
Death makes life all the more precious. I felt so fortunate to have my daughters to hold onto through the pain. But I know that many people who lose someone close feel abandoned and alone-as if they have no one or nothing to live for. If you feel this way, try being with people who are also grieving, in a bereavement support group, for example. As you tell your stories, you will share and understanding of the heart deeper than words. The survival of those who have found healing after loss is reassurance that you, too can endure. Find people with who you can laugh and cry and share new experiences. They will help you mend your shattered life. They will reflect back to you your own goodness. And they will plant new seeds of love for you to harvest. It’s hard to take the risk to get close to people again. Many times I just wanted to be alone, to grieve privately. Yet I know that my family and friends have been priceless. I have thrived simply on the fact that they have been there for me, and we have kept good company.
Draw On Faith For Healing
Life now may seem unreal and terribly wrong. You may feel cheated. As you struggle to make sense of your tragedy, reassure yourself that it’s okay to be angry with God. But also realize that your loss is not God’s punishment or an attempt to test you. God shares punishment or an attempt to test you. God shares the hurt in your heart and wants to lead you to new hope and peace. I can’t say what it was that gradually dissolved my own bitterness toward God. Time? My angry “prayers”? God’s own workings? I only know that God’s goodness-visible in other people, in the world, in myself-became too apparent for me to ignore or deny. And I began to trust life again. That, after all is what it comes down to trust. Trust that life doesn’t end with death. Trust that loved ones who have died are forever with God and that God is forever with us, too. A supportive faith community, pastoral leader or spiritual counselor may be able to help you, over time, to reconcile your loss and pain with your belief in loving , faithful God.
Be Patient With Yourself
Grieving has many stages, which might include shock, numbness, denial, depression, confusion, fear, anger, bitterness, guilt, regret, acceptance, hope. These stages may come in any order, and number of times. Give yourself time to move through grief at your own pace and in your own individual way. Anniversaries and holidays-times that used to mean joy and celebration-can be among the toughest days of the year. You may want to forgo certain traditions or obligations if they seem too burdensome or possible create new traditions that memorialize your loved one. You may feel overwhelmed as you try to adjust to the day to day changes the loss of a loved one can bring. My wife’s death thrust me into new, awkward roles and responsibilities. I tried not to expect too much of myself too soon, just to start with the small tasks first, to be patient with myself and my mistakes. I discovered that the routine tasks of maintaining my job and family helped restore in my life that familiar structure with the chaos of grief threatened to destroy. Maybe you feel like you don’t have anyone who needs you anymore. Maybe you don’t have young children or a job to give you an anchor in life. But whatever personal attributes you have that made you so dear to your loved one are still there, waiting to be trapped to bring joy to others. The world needs the gift of you!
Take Heart
This one that you have loved and lost will always be with you, in memory and in prayer, for the love between you is a spiritual bond that death cannot sever. As impossible as it may seem right now, a time will come when you will be able to think of your loved one, and feel the sacred connection between the two of you, without the pain and emptiness you feel right now. A time will come when you will want to laugh and live and love again. Let yourself heal-in your own time and your own way. The one that you have loved and lost would want it that way.
About the Author
Cremation Options is proud to be a family owned and operated company dedicated to providing dignified cremation services at an affordable price. Established in 2002; we are a non-denominational firm providing a variety of Jacksonville Funeral Homes, merchandise, and services to families of all ages, creeds, and ethnic backgrounds.Call us toll free @ 1-877-989-9090.
“How Is Grief Recovery a Bereavement Support Group from Widow April Braswell, Grief Recovery FAQ”
[simpleaffiliate source="amazon" results="10"]bereavement support groups[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="cj" results="10"]bereavement support groups[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="clickbank" results="10"]bereavement support groups[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="linkshare" results="10"]bereavement support groups[/simpleaffiliate]
Coping With the Death of a Loved One: the Least Used Resource
Unknown to the general public as well as the mass media, millions of people mourning the death of a loved one have an experience in which they are convinced they have received a sign or a message from the deceased or a divine being. However, mourners are often reluctant to widely discuss the event out of fear they will be labeled negatively and lose valuable support in their journey to reinvest in life.
These encounters have nothing to do with a psychic; they are not invoked, but occur spontaneously.
The word spontaneously is a key understanding. As many who have had the experience testify, they were not thinking about the loved one, yet the experience came seemingly out of nowhere—and from an outside source. It was not something manufactured by the unconscious mind.
Of critical importance is the fact that the experience brings solace and comfort and often opens up a whole new level of awareness reconnecting the mourner to their spiritual roots and a new relationship with the deceased.
Regrettably, some family members, counselors (including psychiatrists), and friends of the mourner often dismiss the experience as an artifact of grief, the product of a mind that cannot accept the death of the loved one. Historically, the scientific community has commonly dismissed the contact as an illusion or hallucination. Nothing could be further from the truth.
In general, people who report the experience are as sound and sane as anyone could be. They know they have been given a gift of love and caring to assist in coping with the transition of dealing with the massive changes associated with accepting death. It becomes a significant resource in establishing a healthy continuing bond with the deceased and reduces the perception of isolation so often felt.
Having studied the phenomena for over 25 years, I have chronicled fifteen different types of contacts and labeled them Extraordinary Experiences (EEs). Other researchers have called them after-death communications, while those who receive them often say they are spiritual experiences. They range from sensing the presence or hearing the voice of the loved one to smelling a particular scent or having an incredible dream in which the loved one says he or she is okay. Sometimes a third person is involved, often a child, who is given the experience and then passes it on to the primary mourner. Unusual natural signs of rainbows or the behavior of butterflies, pets, or wildlife as well as the unexpected movement of pictures or objects associated with the deceased have also proved meaningful.
These communications can be used in a variety of ways in coping with loss. For example, memories are important grieving tools and EEs provide a rich network of images for positive recall. They can also be used as a symbol to motivate the mourner to adapt to the changes imposed by loss or as reminder to work on new skills or routines needed in their life without the beloved.
If you have had an Extraordinary Experience, or if you are helping someone cope with the loss of a loved one, make every effort to become aware of the nature of these mysterious gifts, the wide variety of meanings they hold, and the resource they can become for everyone. Love truly lives on and the death of a loved one never means the relationship dies. Our deceased loved ones will always be part of our lives.
You can learn more about EEs by going to http://www.extraordinarygriefexperiences.com/ or http://www.christineduminiak.com or reading some of the books and articles that have been written about this most helpful phenomenon. Use or assist others in using this untapped resource for the rich opportunity it provides in keeping the memory of a deceased loved one vibrant and alive throughout the healing process and beyond.
About the Author
Dr. LaGrand is a grief counselor and the author of eight books, the most recent, the popular Love Lives On: Learning from the Extraordinary Encounters of the Bereaved. He is known world-wide for his research on the Extraordinary Experiences of the bereaved (after-death communication phenomena) and is one of the founders of Hospice of the St. Lawrence Valley, Inc. His free monthly ezine website is www.extraordinarygriefexperiences.com.
Vince Ravon’s Original Song for Piano! “Deep Inside” To those that have lost a loved one!
[simpleaffiliate source="amazon" results="10"]words for loss of a loved one[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="cj" results="10"]words for loss of a loved one[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="clickbank" results="10"]words for loss of a loved one[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="linkshare" results="10"]words for loss of a loved one[/simpleaffiliate]
Ok, here’s the story, my dad passed away in November of 2008, so it has been almost a year. But I still haven’t even dealt with it. My whole life was switched around, and I don’t know what to do. Everytime I think about my dad I either have a panic attack or I just start crying uncontrollably. When someone talks about death or something I just think about him laying on the couch dying. It’s like I always sick. And I don’t know what to do. So I need to know, how did you deal with your grief?
I lost both of my parents in a month’s span, and have no other family support. It’s hard. It’s really hard. Two years later it’s still hard. When I think back to it my throat swells up and I can’t get enough oxygen and I cry. That’s normal. That’s grief. It won’t ever leave you. You won’t ever “get over” it. You’ll have to learn to live with it. Recognize that it’s sad, but your life must live on. You must adapt. It could take a while, but don’t give up! You know they wouldn’t want you to live a sad life.
If you’re having a too hard of time, please seek professional help. If not a therapist, try a social grieving group either online or in your community.
Teen Contributors from Secrets Girls Keep Talk About How to Deal With Grief: Part 1
[simpleaffiliate source="amazon" results="10"]how to deal with grief[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="cj" results="10"]how to deal with grief[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="clickbank" results="10"]how to deal with grief[/simpleaffiliate]
[simpleaffiliate source="linkshare" results="10"]how to deal with grief[/simpleaffiliate]
