I am writing a narrative based on the poem ‘The Raven’ by Edgar Allen Poe … any help?
Hello,
I have an assignment in which I have to write a narrative with is derived from a theme from a particular poem. As I always tend to make things harder for myself (it’s more fun!), I have chosen the epic and great poem ‘The Raven’ by Edgar Allen Poe.
The themes within this poem mainly consist of:
– Someones journey to insanity after the loss of a loved one (a tormentuous mind)
– Trying to forget and remember a loved one at the same time
The problem I am having at the moment, is that this poem is already a narrative … and for the assignment we have to come up with a story different to the one told in the poem (i.e. using theme’s, rather than the actual story). We cannot just retell the story.
I was wondering if anyone out there had any ideas on a quirky, cool story which uses the themes based in ‘The Raven’?
Thank you to everyone who chooses to answer!!!
x
P.S. I hope I made sense
yeah, write a story about what happened to the raven before it got there, maybe it was sent from heaven with a message from Lenore
* Lost A Loved One *
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i always heard about lighting candles for the people who have passed on. so do people do this light candles in honor of the people who have passed on.
i have candles and i’m planning on lighting one each day or night for my father and for others i think desevered to be honored. so i’m thinking about do this each night or so.
what are your takes on the lighting of the candles for the dead, i just want to get a y it is done.
petsnakes: i do believe in GOD. and i do what i can for that. i have never read the Bible (o i spelled wrong). and does it say n the book not to light candles in honor of the dead.
If you find a bond in lighting candles, for a remembrance of those you loved; Go for it.
It really isn’t a biblical thing, as much as:
In the past, when a loved-one was out in the night (or away), someone at home, would light a candle and put in in the window, for the loved-one to see; so they could find there way home.
This was the beginning of the tradition of lighting a candle.
I think, it is rather romantic, but also demonstrates great caring.
Remembering the dead; hypocrisy, lies, the debt commission and “in your face” contempt
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You Are The Only Life Manager Of Yourself: Create Yourself
School of Life
My topic is on self-reliance and I’m not writting about specifics such as finances, time management, organizing pantry/closets, piles/clutter or food storage and I’m not going to tell you anything new. Self-reliance is a commandment. The pay-offs are happiness, security and hope of Celestial Kingdom.
All of you are sitting on computer chair power seats. You didn’t pay $1,000.00 for the tickets but your seats have become available through divine intervention. Every one should leave the computer screen with commitment to change, the spirit of the Lord and increased knowledge.
For the purpose of this article on self-reliance I will call this life’s journey school of life. In the school of life obviously all must attend school AND THERE WILL BE HOMEWORK. In this school there are three large classrooms with degrees of difficulty. You must sign up for one class today after receiving a description of the courses and pre-requisites.
EXISTING Is instinctual; it is involuntary reactive self-presevation with the primary goal of just geting from one day to the next without regard to quality.
PRE-REQUISITE: experience as a participant or addicted viewer in a circus freak T.V. talk show that try to morally out bizarre one another and extreme violators of universal laws.(law of gravity, law of the harvest etc)
LIVING Is the exercise of certain learned skills, attitudes and abilities that you have acquired and honed to a harp and focussed edge. Primary goal is to have a quality of experience that is unique and rewarding. Average outcome.
PRE-REQUISITE: A closed mind if you simply just don’t get it, presence of wrong thinking or misinformation, attitude of resistance as to debate the Real Deal and the rules of the game, distracted, favorite saying “it’s not fair” or “it’s all relative” not as in Einstein’s theory but as a social more and whinnying about “bad genes.”
SELF-RELIANCE Is for the informed minority. A major undertaking. It means accountable for your own life, responsible to move forward with a plan, preparation for good life management skills, peace of mind and confidence. Dong what matters. The skills you need to create are the skills of understanding and controlling the cause and effect relationship of life using your knowledge to make things happen the way you want them to. Learning how and why you do what you do and don’t do what you don’t do.
PRE-REQUISITE: A pasionate commitment to being th best. those who will take off blinders and resolve now that you no longer live by the old adage that “ignorance is bliss”, those who will discriminate about where and from you accept input, those who will face their demons and fears, those who are tuned in and want the real deal, those who will not settle, those who will focus on what to do to win and those who will put God’s interests as your interest.
Never in your life are you without problems and challenges every day. The person you most need to stand up to in this world is you. The battle ground where decisive battles are fought are within you. What makes a problem big is simply that it’s yours. It does mean that my problems need to matter to me otherwise it won’t matter to anybody who can change them. You are your most important resource. My problems are important because I’m important. Your problems are important because you are important even in the grand scheme of things. It isn’t a selfish thought. But beware of getting bogged down in a debate about the fairness or unfairness of what has befallen you. If it’s unfair, then it’s unfair but you still have to deal with it. If something is unfair you confront, you forgive, you make apologies, and get past it. If you don’t allow yourself to get past it you will have side effects. It could affect your health, marriage, relationships and spiritual powers. It will eat you alive.
The world has it’s own laws and ability to enforce them. Laws in which you don’t get a vote such as the physical law of gravity. If you violate the law of gravity you can experience pain or depending on the elvation even death. Most people would’t jump off a plan without a parachute. we know this law. It is swift, harsh, and inescapable. There are other universal laws in which you don’t get to vote such as cause and effect in other words: thoughts, words, or behaviour gets you a result. However you can make a legal U-turn to quickly change direction by not doing what comes naturally by first choosing the results that you want and then choosing the bahaviour that will guarantee those results. This pattern is called “self-defence” or “prevention” against attacks and losses; and establishing this pattern with a righteous desire is the absolute core of what you must master. Lady Thatcher first ever female Prime Minister “Evil and conflict will always be with us so we must keep our defences strong. It is only with strong defences that freedom can be maintained. Our savior’s atonement is the only way to satisfy the law of justice but we still have to live with the results of our behaviour. Sometimes this law is swift but most of the time it is subtle and more seductive and can be catastrophic. Only a minority gets it. To get it you have to be tuned in not just playing. God wants to bles us but he doesn’t brake the law to bless us. He tells us what to do or not to do so that He can bless us. When you are tuned in you receive knowledge and knowledge applied with wisdom is power. Your job is to be a life manager good or bad. You can’t get fired or quit. It’s an eternal mantel. You are the manager and you have at lest one very important client; you.
Is your life manager keeping you safe and secure from foolish risks? (Life ins., Home ins., wills, food storage, safe vehicle)
Is your life manager putting you in a situation where you can utilize all of your skills and abilities?
Is your life manager taking care of your health an well-being, physically, mentally, emotionally,and spiritually?
Is your life manager selecting and pusuing relationships in which you can be healthy and flourish?
Is your life manager arranging for some fun and recreation in your life?
Is your life manager structuring your world so that there is balance aqmong important things?
You are marked for glory. To be an effective manager of yourself you need the knowledge to predict, motivate and control your impulses and overcome resistance and excuses. President Ezra TaftBenson “When the world comes after you, you’d better have a good strategy. God is our example of plans, patterns, strategies from which He never deviates. It is part of his soul of who He is and works. The opposite of knowledge and a dangerous alternative is presence of wrong thinking or misinformation. a reliance upon misinformation is crippling, misleading and harmful.
Can you see how plans, patterns, strategies fits in with self-reliance? We will start by looking at God’s example of moving forward with a plan then look at our own patterns and plans. God has established a simple pattern for revealing his plan to his children. He chooses righteous men and reveals the truth to them. The prophets then teach others about the plan of God. God gives them authority to act in his name. when people hear the teachings of these men or read the scriptures, the Holy Gost helps them know that the teachings are true.
Learning How and Why You Do What You Do and
Why You Don’t Do What You Don’t Do.
Behaviour and Consequences
Most people learn that if you put your hand on a hot stove you will get burned. It is swift. No pain is the motivator in other words the pay-off. Not all consequences are swift and that is why we are lulled and forget about this law.
A law of life as sure as the law of gravity and not knowing it is tantamount to being illiterate. You can ignore the law of behaviour and consequences and function at a lower level or you can choose to take responsibility for your behaviours and thoughts and live at a higher level. Taking responsibility doesn’t mean giving lip-service to being accountable by saying: “Okay I’m over 8 years old or I’m an adult I’m accountable. If you are an adult, and live independently, free of alzymers, no brain tumour or some other involuntary disruption of thinking you are accountable. You have always been accountable and alays will be! That is how it is an you don’t have a vote. This does not mean blame-worthy there is a difference. Accountable as in responsible because the solution lies in you.
Each Person is Unique and Different
If you don’t like your job you are accountable
If you didn’t pay your tithing you are accountable
If you are overweight you are accountable
If you used the Lord’s name in vain you are accountable
If you didn’t say your prayers you are accountable
If you don’t trust members of the opposite sex you are accountable
If you haven’t opened your Roger’s wireless bill for 6 months and you discovered that there has been a monthly billing error andcustomer service will only credit you for the last three months according to their policy you are accountable
If you receive a phone call from A/R Roger’s Wireless and you discover that you were given the wrong plan and you refuse to call customer care to change the plan because you don’t like to be put on hold for 20 minures you are accountable
If you sign for a friend to get a cell phone because they don’t have credit and 6 months down the road that friend stops paying the bill you are acountable
You made the choice
You worried
You didn’t do the homework
You went to bed too late
You wanted the dog
You trusted him
If you are angry, hurt, upset, insecure, depressed or lonely you own those feelings
If you forgot your wife’s birthday you are accountable
If you are Canadian and you forgot to renew your health card and your doctor wants you to go for blood work before renewing your prescription and the lab wants a cash payment because you don’t have a valid health card and you can’t afford it; you are accountable
If you didn’t get your new licence sticker for your plates at the ministry of transportation by your birthday and the police gives you a ticket you are acountable
Accepting the law of cause and effect; behaviour and consequence and not resisting it means that you can no longer dodge responsibility for how and why your life is the way it is. This is important because if you don’t accept accountability, you will misdiagnose every problem you have. If you misdiagnose, you will mistreat. If you mistreat you won’t get better. You either look at life as a player on the victim’s team or the accountable team. By convincing yourself that you are a victim you are guaranteed no healing, no victory. Mine fields are housed in the minds and hearts of those who oppose change. The mines can be ignited when someone suggests a better way, a different method, another viewpoint or need to change.
Qualities of Wise People
Proverbs 15:31-33 “The ear that heareth the reproof of life abithed among the wise. He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding. The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility.”
There Is More Than One Way To Play The Victim
You can insist that someone is being mean or unfair or ugly to you.
The most common way is to believe that you are right in your position and those who disagree with you are wrong. Even if you are right and they are wrong you still have ownership of the problem. If you’re so right, if you’re so smart, then why can’t you create the results that you want? You can answer, “They won’t listen.” You own the fact that they won’t listen. The fact that they won’t listen is a direct result of your inability to get them to hear you.
There is no escape or exceptions of our acountability. That is the way the world is. End of sentence. Accountability is not a passive word it is a power that most of us refuse to use in all of our challenges. Most of us could write a book on how to ignore accountability into a fantasy world.
The sower may mistake and sow his peas crookedly; the peas make no mistake but come up and show the line. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Bottom Line
Accepting your role in your problems and feelings, acknowledging that you are accountable means that you get it. It means that you understand that the solution lies with you and that you have quit looking for answers in the wrong places. You’ve got what it takes, you’re worth the effort, nobody is going to do it for you. 50% of problem solving lies in the description of the problem.
“Thou shalt not lie. Thou shalt not steal.” Denying is lying and cheating is stealing, conceiling something or omitting information with intent to deceive are all forms of dishonesty . We brake these commandments every day. This is how we ignore accountability into a fantasy world by Sabotaging with Patterns or Habits.
a) DENIAL
Denial is a hindering power a gobbling illusion. It’s a lie. It misrepresents truth or omits truth, and can take the form of totally failing to see what is, but resisting it, because you don’t like it. Either way denial is dangerous. We do not want problems to be true, we do not want bad news, and as a result we become functionally blind. The dam of denial holds back the flood of sorrow for sin, grief for loss, remorse, regret and repentence.
Example of Denial and Logical Consequences
Let’s say that you are a married women who works partime and your husband is on unemployment. You have a family wedding coming up. You go to Sears and spend $60.00 on a dress you can’t afford and will only wear once. You wear the dress use deodorant, perfume and you happen to be a smoker and accidently burn a very tiny hole in the dress.You want to return the dress to Sears and say the dress doesn’t fit. You tell your friends of your intentions and they approve.Some even said: Sears allows you to return an outfit even if they know that you wore it because i’t good customer service practice. They are taking the weight of your lie/deception/conceilment off your shoulders. Ask yourself is that what a good friend does?
It is selfish to offload something you used and damaged to someone else
The word dishonest means: acts of lying and stealing
You have a type of blindness by ignoring, resisting, dodging, playing the victim and not accepting your role in your problems. Not accepting accountability, a universal law-an active power in which you have no vote just because you want the immediate pay-off $60.00 back for the return of the damaged dress means that there will be a consequence. The law of (cause and effect, behavior and consequences, the law of the harvest) is slow coming as opposed to the immediate consequences of the law of gravity. When the consequences arrive you will not recognize it as a consequence. You are the sower and the creator of your life wihin the bounderies of the universal laws. You always reap what you sow.
Example of God Teaching this Law
Eli was the High priest and judge connected with the early history of Samuel the prohet in the old testament of the bible.The blot on his character was his toleration or his resistance to the actuality of the wickedness of his sons.He allowed them to continue to work in the Temple. God told Samuel that if Eli didn’t restrain his sons they both would die the same day. Eli’s sabotaging behavior was resistence to actuality and numbness to deal with it.He was avoiding being brow beaten for the rest of his life by his wife and the possibility of not being able to enjoy the family association with his sons and their families.Number one fear among all people without exception is rejection. Number one need of all people wihout exeption is acceptance. He dodged the responsibility because he din’t like it. This is scary and unpleasant. He didn’t purposely sabotage himself. He had an imediate pay-off. His mind was closed as to other possibilities. he sat on the sidelines and didn’t take action and let God make a descision.
About the Author
My name is Laurie Robillard. I have strong feelings and opinions about almost
everything– house pets but I’m not Doctor Dolittle, walking to work, using the stairs instead of the elevator, parking at the end of the mall’s parking lot
instead of at the door, alternative medicine, making relaxation appointments
for yourself. I like to tenderly care for my grand children. In the last few months I’ve done a good job at saving myself by plunging in wholeheartedly
on research about nutrition health benefits. I have made discoveries that I want to share. I now have a one person to person distribution business
Visit http://www.mymonavie.com/lar
To comment, e-mail laurier6@gmail.com
Running in Traffic
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Funerals and the many customs associated with marking the passing of a loved one allow people to express sadness over their loss. During times of grief and change, people often turn to different forms of art to help them heal and to express their pain. Usually, a close friend or family member is asked to deliver a memorial speech, also called a eulogy
to honor the deceased. Today, a eulogy can take the form of a speech, a letter and even a poem. Writing a funeral poem as part of a eulogy, to display at the visitation or for your own comfort allows you to use the art of language to convey what you’re feeling.
Writing a funeral poem
If you choose to write a funeral poem, decide first who the poem will be shared with. Will the poem be for your own personal use or will it be for a group of people sharing the loss of a loved one? If the poem is a private expression to help you address your own feelings, you can be more liberal in what you write. Private verses allow you to be completely open about how the deceased’s passing makes you feel. This personal type of poetry allows you to write about more intimate or private memories that you may not be comfortable sharing with others. Don’t feel that you have to write what others want to hear – just be honest in your writing and people will appreciate your thoughts and words. If you’ve decided to share your poem with others, be sure to consider the thoughts and feelings of others as you write.
Gathering your thoughts
After you’ve decided the purpose and audience of your poem, take some quiet time to let your thoughts flow. Think about the memories you have of your friend or family member – your fondest times spent together, their personality, passions and life achievements. Don’t feel hampered by rhyme structures or worry about your writing skills – simply let the word come; a funeral poem that takes the form of a verse, a letter or a speech is perfectly suitable.
Delivering a funeral poem
Usually, a funeral poem is read during the funeral service. If you choose to deliver your poem during the service, bring a copy of the poem to read from. Trying to memorize touching words while you’re coping with a host of emotions is very difficult. It can be even harder to remember the words if your voice falters or if you’re uncomfortable speaking in front of a group. Be sure to write legibly in large type and take some time to review the poem carefully several times.
You may prefer not to read your poem aloud, but still share it with others. Consider writing out the poem and displaying it in a frame at the visitation. Many funeral homes offer memorial pamphlets to mourners. Heartfelt words can be a touching addition to any funeral program or pamphlet and are often kept as mementos.
If you’ve chosen to write a funeral poem just for yourself you can preserve the poem in a frame on its own or behind a picture. Some families choose to place a memorial announcement in their local newspaper a year after the loved one’s passing. This is another option if you feel more comfortable sharing your writing after some time has passed.
Inspiration
If you’re not sure where to begin, we suggest reading a few of the classic poems below. Some of these poems are about loss and grieving and others are about honoring life. They can be used as inspiration, or can be read at the funeral if you’re having difficulty putting your own thoughts into words.
• Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep – Mary Frye
• All is Well – Henry Scott Holland
• Death, Be Not Proud – John Donne
• The Tide Rises, The Tide Falls – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
• The Oak – Alfred Lord Tennyson
• No Coward Soul is Mine – Emily Bronte
• Remember – Christina Rossetti
• A Parable of Immortality – Henry Van Dyke
Funeral poems are a very personal expression of your loss. While they can be touching and comforting for others to hear, thoughts and emotions can also be difficult to capture on paper. Talk to other people who were close to the departed if you need inspiration for your poem – this will help inspire you and allow you to share your memories with others.
About the Author
Gwendolyn Ladd is a writer for the online funeral planning resource http://www.funeralplanning101.com . Her grandmother’s recent passing has given Gwen insight into the various responsibilities associated with funeral planning such as funeral poems and eulogy.
Best Poems for Funerals
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Grief affects the life of every person at some point in their lives and is a silent epidemic in our society. We do not educate people to deal with loss and that the true nature of everything is impermanent. Grief is usually the condition that is associated with the death of a loved one but you can also suffer its effects due to long periods of stress and worry, the loss of a job, reactions to a traumatic event and the breakdown of a relationship.
Just because the person does not physically die does not mean that you will be immune from the effects of grief as a result of them leaving. Even lack of meaning in your life can bring on feelings of grief. Many people suffer grief as a result of their pet dying. In some cases grief can last for many years. There are 611,800 deaths in the UK every year.
The Five Stages
The general stages of grief are denial/numbness, anger/fear, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. Each stage has its own time frame and this differs from person to person. Following a loss, a person first may be stunned or distressed with the shock. The human body releases chemicals, such as adrenalin, in response to shock. These are to help with thinking, alertness and coping with pain. The person may have physical reactions such as sleeplessness, difficulty in sitting still or concentrating and most commonly loss of appetite, tummy upset, or even chest pains – which should be checked by a doctor. Often people can feel numb or as though they are on “automatic pilot”.
The sorrow of grief saps your energy, making even simple tasks like getting out of bed in the morning, tending to personal grooming, fixing a meal or going somewhere with friends seem overwhelming and exhausting. You may feel negative and critical toward everything and everyone, including yourself.
The Double Bind
If your loved one has died then you are in what psychologists call a ‘double bind’. The very person who you would normally work problems in life out with is no longer alive. This can leave you feeling very alone and sad. Your healing process can be delayed by not expressing your feelings. Grief counselling is very helpful if not essential in these situations.
Knights With Broken Hearts
In the Middle Ages, when the Knights found their hearts broken, they were treated as being weak. Due to the display of what was then considered feminine emotions, they were not only ridiculed but also rejected from the society they lived in and at times, lost their reputations. Not until an Islamic medical text was translated into latin and then read by English physicians was broken heartedness understood and treated as something genuinely human. Chinese Medicine acknowledges grief as being one of the seven governing emotions within their medical system. When there is an excess of it, the organ most associated – the lung, is affected giving rise to asthma and chest infections. Some accupunture can help restore and support the system. Especially the blocks that might develop.
Warm Company
Times of crisis can show you who your real friends are. They are the ones coming in when everyone else is leaving during a crisis. With the loss a loved one a person can feel very much alone and the tradition of visiting the bereaved stems from the wish to alleviate this. Just sitting with the bereaved can be of great comfort. The bereaved need to know that grief comes in stages. Facing loss alone magnifies the intensity of grief and the loneliness that it can bring.
Flower Remedies
The initial reaction to loss is usually shock. The Bach flower remedy mix ‘Rescue Remedy’ brings us quickly to a more stable state. Some people carry it with them everywhere. The remedy Star of Bethlehem contained in the remedy mixture is especially for any trauma, physical, or emotional. Dr. Bach described it as “the comforter and soother of pains and sorrows.” The Australian Bush Flower Emergency or Relationship Essence is also especially helpful in these situations. Flower remedies can transform negative emotions that have been with people for years. Bach compared his remedies to that of beautiful music or arrangements of colour, or any glorious uplifting medium that gives inspiration. His cure was not to attack the disease but to flood the body with beautiful vibrations from wild flowers and herbs in the presence of which “disease would melt away as snow in sunshine.”
Homeopathic Remedies
After the first shock, comes a parade of other emotions, or sometimes just an inner numbness or emptiness. Homeopathy can help ease a process that is going to be painful. The remedy Ignatia is the first one thought of for everyone after a loss. Especially for those who grieve outwardly through sobbing. For those caught in a double bind and who tend to send the grief inwards and suppress their emotions and who prefer to cry alone Natrum Mur is the appropriate remedy. Aurum, which is gold, was said to be the remedy needed for those who committed suicide after losing fortunes in the Great Depression. This is recommended for those who have a deeply wounded heart and those who have stopped eating and drinking in reaction to a loss.
The medical tantras of the Tibetans advice not to leave a person greiving alone. To give them gentle company and to talk of good positive things.
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About the Author
Ralph Quinlan Forde – CEO www.stargatenutritionvitamin.com the author and Holistic Medicine Consultant has contributed to the following publications over eight years, The Independent on Sunday, The Sunday Herald, IVENUS, Tescos Magazine, The Irish Examiner and The Sunday Tribune. He is also the founder of www.medicinebuddhafoundation.org. His book The Book of Tibetan Medicine is now in 11 languages http://thebookoftibetanmedicine.blogspot.com. His personal website for clients is www.fireheartbliss.com
The Five Stages of Death/Grief Ft. a Giraffe (HQ)
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what do u think of this poems??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Stealing my heart was so easy for you
True love was the fantasy only you could make true
Love was transparent like a charcoal steam
You are the one cut out of my dream
You are the one who woke me from sleep
and stole my heart with those blue eyes so sweet
You opened the door with a love so dense
You care not for the cost or expense
You grasped me from darkness not a moment too soon
and displayed a love so pure and perfectly in tune
The light in your soul is impossible to avoid
Hate you banished, fear you destroyed
The day I met you, the loss of love was quenched
My soul, once so dry, was instantly drenched
Please, girl, you must never forget
All that was destined the day that we met
I love it!
Deceased Mother Poems – Mom Where Are You?
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How to Deal With Grief Triggers Long After the Death of a Loved One
Have you been having a good day many months after the death of your loved one and when watching television, see a particular scene or hear a statement, and suddenly you feel the return of sadness and anxiety? Or has a newspaper story of the death of a stranger set off sorrowful memories associated with the death of your loved one?
These and many other seemingly unrelated experiences are commonly the cause of much grieving that can go on for several days. Kim Wencl, whose daughter died in a tragic house fire while at college, had the following experience.
“The bridge collapse in Minneapolis was a trigger for me. It really had nothing to do with my loss (although when my daughter was attending the U of M we traveled it quite frequently, and many of her college friends still live within close proximity to it). But as soon as I heard about it and started to watch the news coverage, I felt almost physically ill and panicky, had difficulty breathing, and experienced immediate and immense feelings of extreme sadness. Despite all of these feelings, I couldn’t get myself to quit watching the coverage—even though after a couple of hours, I realized it was triggering my own grief feelings—which hadn’t bubbled up in almost a year. If you don’t know what a trigger is, (and I don’t think most grieving people do) it is even more unnerving because it comes out of the blue, very quickly, and you don’t understand why it’s happening.”
Here’s what you need to know when something you see, hear, smell or experience brings back the pain of your loss.
1. The experience is normal and common. There is nothing wrong with you. You did not cause the event. It is part of the way we store memories. Sometimes it is the result of unresolved traumatic imprints—highly emotional events that become imbedded in our psyches and our bodies—and may need professional assistance to manage. Both happy and not so happy memories have their triggers. The role of the mind in healing is extremely powerful and at other times extremely limiting. But grief triggers are to be expected. That’s the way memory works.
2. To help defuse the impact of the sudden onset of grief keep telling yourself that what you are experiencing is normal, normal, normal. Say it to yourself: affirming this belief will expand your ability to continue healing. Deal with it by expressing your emotions and finding support persons who understand the phenomena and your need for their listening skills. Regrettably, you may have to educate some of them at this difficult time. Nevertheless, full disclosure of what is happening within can be very useful. Don’t hide your feelings. You are not weak in sharing your plight.
3. Remember that these grief episodes, like all grief responses, have a physical component. You can get a headache, digestive disturbances, feel ill, or not be able to sleep. Thoughts are always transferred to our cells with corresponding physical manifestations. Of course, from the modern perspective of neurochemistry, this also means that joyful and peaceful thoughts can have highly positive effects on your physiology, especially the immune system.
4. Allow the experience to unfold and the pain in your heart to move through and out of you. Here is how Kim put it.
“As to what helped in dealing with that grief trigger experience, I guess the biggest thing was just knowing that what I was experiencing was a grief trigger. Once I had that realization I knew that, if I acknowledged everything I was feeling and just felt it—as opposed to ignoring it or pretending it wasn’t happening—the symptoms would subside, which they did over the course of a day or two.”
The key words in this observation are: acknowledge everything.
Finally, I can’t emphasize enough how individual grief triggers can be. The intensity, extent, and frequency of these events vary immensely among individuals. Depending on the circumstances surrounding the death of your loved one, the emotional investment in the person, and the internal connections made from your precipitating experience—a grief trigger for you may be a complete surprise and thus alarming.
In any event, accepting the experience and not resisting is the best way to disarm and limit the unnecessary suffering that accompanies this loss-related grief response. The transition will require you to shift your thought processes away from focusing on “why me?” to “what can I learn from this opportunity?”
Accepting grief triggers as normal—especially when they come months or years after the death of your loved one—is a manageable and ongoing part of the healing process. We are always healing because we are always dealing with change. And, we bring with us our previous loss experiences to each new challenge. You can meet that challenge.
About the Author
Dr. LaGrand is a grief counselor and the author of eight books, the most recent, Love Lives On: Learning from the Extraordinary Encounters of the Bereaved. He is known world-wide for his research on the Extraordinary Experiences of the bereaved (after-death communication phenomena) and is one of the founders of Hospice of the St. Lawrence Valley, Inc. His monthly ezine-free website is www.extraordinarygriefexperiences.com.
Dealing With Death : Dealing With Grief After Death
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Funeral Poems for Mom – How to Find Poems for Your Mother’s Funeral
Funeral poems for mom are a great way to make the funeral more special and memorable. Sometimes there is nothing like a funeral poem that can express your deepest feelings. Something that bare words can not express at all.
As much as reading poems at your mother’s funeral can be a great idea, it’s equally important that you choose the best poem that really shines at the funeral.
Here are two ways you can find beautiful funeral poems for your mom…
Funeral Poem Idea #1: Write It Yourself
Nothing can be more special than a poem you wrote yourself for your mom. Because you have the choice to make it personal and unique, it makes it much more special and memorable.
You don’t have to be a poet to be able to write a simple poem. It’s actually very easy. Just think of your feelings for your mom and how much you miss having her next to you, and the words will just start flowing in your mind.
It’s also a good idea to write your poem about a very special memory you and your mom had together. It could be a fun trip, that special hug you always remember, her sweet voice, and any other special things about her.
Your poem can be short or long – depending on how you like it. Just make sure it has a strong ending, so it leaves the audience feeling strong in their hearts after you finish reading it at your mother’s funeral.
If you don’t like to write your poem yourself, here’s an easier alternative…
Funeral Poem Idea #2: Find Funeral Poems Online
The good news is, you don’t have to write the funeral poem yourself. You can easily choose one of the ready-made, beautiful funeral poems for mom available online.
We are in the Internet age and people from all over the world share their lives together on the Internet… and that includes amazing, beautiful funeral poems they write for their own loved ones.
Even though you are going through a unique experience, still there are many people just like you out there who lost their dearest loved one or mother. And then they made a special, heartfelt poem for their funeral.
By doing a simple search online, you can find a list of great funeral poems that you can read at your mother’s funeral. Some of them are sad, some are heart-warming and inspirational, and some are simply sweet.
Actually you may find yourself feeling more in peace by simply reading some of these amazing poems. I know I sure did.
About the Author
Looking for beautiful funeral poems for your mom to read at her funeral and make it more special? Then check out this FREE list of best mom funeral poems here.
Planning a funeral? Want to discover a step-by-step funeral planning checklist to help you plan your mom’s funeral easily and perfectly? Then check it out here to find out more…
Death is an inevitable part of life and unfortunately we will all be touched by the finger of death at some point in our lives. It may be the death of a close friend, a beloved pet, or a dear family member. Death is a difficult thing to work through. It leaves you feeling so empty and alone. But there are ways that you can find peace after the death of a loved one.
When you lose someone close to you, your senses are flooded with a multitude of emotions. Denial, anger, sadness, and frustration are just a few of the feelings you may experience. This is perfectly normal and everyone has to go through different emotions when dealing with death.
We experience denial both when we first learn of the death and sometimes days and weeks later. Someone has made a mistake, I had a bad dream, these are just a few of the thoughts you may experience in the denial stage. Denial is stronger when dealing with accidental or sudden death. In this case denial may last longer than it does when you lose someone to an illness or old age.
Anger and frustration occurs both soon after the loss and even many years later. You wish the person was here to help you with a project or you are dealing with finances you don’t understand. It is perfectly normal to feel anger toward the person you lost. After all, they left you alone. This is a natural sentiment and something that you will feel.
Sadness and grief are the first things someone thinks of when dealing with death. These are the emotions that everyone expects you to have. You are lost and missing the person so much. These feelings of sadness and grief will come and go especially through the first year as you deal with many ‘firsts’ without them.
So how can you find peace when you are grieving? First of all you need to understand that all these emotions are a normal part of the grieving process. You need to experience them to properly heal. It is okay to be mad at the person who died. Someday that anger will subside and you will have overcome the frustration of loss. Sadness and grief will probably be with you for life, but they get easier to deal with over time. It will not be a all consuming sadness that you feel right after the death, but it will mellow into a longing or melancholy feeling. Something you will feel only occasionally. This is normal after all you lost someone very close to you. You will always miss them and feel their loss it just won’t always be painful.
Time is a great healer. Even though you may feel that you cannot survive another day because the grief is so overwhelming, you can and you will. Face each day and conquer it! Spend time with friends and read uplifting books. These things can really help when dealing with grief. There are many books written about death and dying. If you believe in an afterlife, books about near death experiences can be helpful. After the loss of my brother I read several of these books and they brought me peace. I had a better understanding of what happened when he died and where he was now.
Some days you may feel like you just can’t face the world, this is okay just don’t let it become a habit. Many people let grief win and overtake their lives. They become consumed in their sorrow and almost cease to function. This actually becomes detrimental to their health. No matter how hard it may seem, you need to move forward. Keep your loved ones in your heart, but allow yourself to live as well. Think about what they would want. Would they want you to suffer endlessly because of their death?
Many people turn to religion when they lose someone. Faith is a great healer and it helps us believe in a better life for both us and the person who died. Most religions teach of an afterlife where everyone is at peace and happy. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, also known as the Mormons , believe that families will be together forever in the afterlife. This belief brings great comfort to families who have lost loved ones and especially to parents who have lost children.
You can find peace and healing after losing someone close to you. Remember that it is okay to feel a range of emotions. Time will help you overcome the anger and will dull the pain of loss. But you will always remember the person you lost. After all, they were an important part of your life.
About the Author
Piper enjoys researching her family history and reading stories of her ancestors. She spends a lot of her time using her Epson scanner to make quality copies of her grandparents photos. She enjoys nature, reading and spending time with her family. She also teaches people how to go about using a 35mm slide converter in her spare time.
Best R&B Songs Dealing With Death
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Is forgetting a passed loved one a bad thing? or is it part of the healing process?
It has been 3 weeks since a close relative has passed away, and I feel guilty for not thinking of this person as much as I used to. I love this person very much and life will be very different with her gone, but why do I only think of her every once and a while. Is it part of the healing process or is it a cruel human trait to forget someone so soon?
I am not looking for sympathy, just reasoning.
My best friend died when I was in high school. I think about him whenever I experience something alone in life that makes me happy – not necessarily my new family, though. You’ve been 3 weeks without this person – a relatively small time considering the closeness – but guilt isn’t something someone who cares for you would wish you to have about them.
Keep in mind that this bothered you enough to write about – so you have already shown you haven’t forgotten, just prioritized. You will have all eternity to care about the dead.
Trilogy 14:Piano – One Breath Memories – Unfinished Sympathy
