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My mom passed away 7 months ago. Her and I were really close and she was the only person that I would ever go to and talk about things with. Well now shes gone and so is that. I took it very hard when she died, I ended up being heavily sedated and didn’t get out of bed for the following 2 weeks except for her memorial which between that and the two weeks following, I remember very very little. After two weeks, and being the mother of 2 kids who needed me, I drug myself out of bed, stopped all sedatives and began life again with out my mother. And OMG it has been so hard. People ALWAYS say it gets easier with time. I am finding it getting harder lately. I still cant eve look at a picture of her. SOO, being there’s no grief support groups in my area and it’s becoming clear to me that I need some thing. So, my question is does anyone know of or a member of an online grief support group that discusses this issue and not every thing but? Thank you
I’m sorry for your loss. The death of my mother was the hardest thing in the world for me and my sisters. I hope this will help: http://www.growthhouse.org/death.html The suggestion of calling a suicide hotline to ask for advice is a good one.
My mother died of cancer, and the support group run by the American Cancer Society is an excellent one. I also saw a therapist for a while and spent a couple years on antidepressants, which helped me greatly although I know it’s not for everyone. Things get better, and there will be a day when you can remember your mom with love and joy and gratitude and without tears. Good luck.
(Grief Support) (Forgiveness) (Healing) – Mary’s Story
I am looking for a poem that is about the death of someone you miss.
i dont want it to be too depressing, in a way i would like it to be anice way of saying that she is at peace.
i love old fashioned poems, 1800 ones.
please help!
“Death Be Not Proud” by John Donne matches what you are looking for.
Dylan Thomas’s excellent villanelle is about someone dying not someone who has already passed away.
Donne’s poem is earlier than the 1800s but I think you’ll like it.
LOVE and LOSS. Death Quotes and Sayings
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Theories about the stages of grief abound, but the idea that there are definitive stages of grief has led to an epidemic of people thinking they aren’t grieving properly. As if grief isn’t hard enough, we now sit in judgment of our grief.
The people who have theorized about the stages of grief never meant for them to be used this way, but this is how they are now being used by the bereaved and professionals alike. They are so ubiquitous they have become little more than a cultural cliché being applied to playoff and political losses as well as actual deaths.
Though it can be argued that grief is grief, it’s important to note that the original research conducted by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was studying recently diagnosed cancer patients. For me, there are significant differences between a population of patients anticipating their own death and people who are grieving the loss of someone they love.
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance all sound great and many think they describe a linear path through grief which they do not. Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross recognized this shortcoming but that hasn’t stopped many of us from latching on to this as the way through grief.
The truth is there is no linear path. Each individual person grieves differently. A variety of responses are common among family members grieving the same loss. And different losses will be experienced differently by the same individual. The disheartening truth is no two deaths are alike.
Yes, we might experience one or all of the 5 stages of grief at some point, but I can think of an endless number of other responses we’re just as likely to experience.
Many responses mimic depression. Some of the most common that fall into this category are exhaustion, the inability to concentrate and sleeplessness. Other feelings like relief (more common than many like to admit) don’t fit neatly into the stages of grief at all.
I’m not saying you ‘re not going to experience these things. There’s a good chance you will, but not necessarily. What I can say with certainty, is that even if you do experience all of these “stages”, you will not experience them in any kind of linear fashion, and you will probably experience each of them many times, not just once before you’re done.
Sticking with the framework of the stages of grief, it would not be unusual for a person to go from denial to depression, back to denial, on to anger, back to depression, then a bit of acceptance only to go back to denial, anger or depression. It is also common for anger and the various symptoms of depression to return years later. These return visits are generally short-lived but speak to the ever evolving and incomplete nature of grief.
So although, the stages of grief describe certain states that may or may not be experienced when you’re grieving a death, there is no way these stages provide a logical path for anyone to follow. Trying to turn them into a linear path creates many more problems than it solves, and does a real disservice to people who are grieving the loss of someone they love.
About the Author
Susan L. Fuller is the author of ‘How to Survive Your Grief When Someone You Love Has Died’. She is a grief expert who has facilitated bereavement support groups, provided follow up bereavement services for hospice families and trained hospice volunteers . She is licensed in Massachusetts as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. For more information, go to: http://www.SurviveYourGrief.com
5 Stages of Grief
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I know she invented the 5 stages of grief. But what did she do other than that? Facts about her life would be great too! thanks:)
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Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was born on July 8, 1926 in Zürich, Switzerland, one of triplets.
She is a 2007 inductee into the National Women’s Hall of Fame She was the recipient of twenty honorary degrees and by July 1982 had taught, in her estimation, 125,000 students in death and dying courses in colleges, seminaries, medical schools, hospitals, and social-work institutions.
She moved to the United States in 1958 to work and continue her studies in New York.
In 1962 she accepted a position at the University of Colorado School of Medicine.
After writing “On Death and Dying” where she laid out the stages of grief in 1969, she In 1977 she founded “Shanti Nilaya” (Home of Peace), a healing Center for the dying and their families in Escondido, California. She was also a co-founder of the American Holistic Medical Association.
In the late 1970s Kübler-Ross became interested in out-of-body experiences, mediumistic, spiritualism and attempting to contact the dead. This led to a scandal connected to the Shanti Nilaya healing center where she was duped by the medium Jay Barham. He was found to be naked and wearing only a turban when someone unexpectedly pulled the tape off the light.
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Kübler-Ross suffered a series of strokes in 1995 which left her partially paralyzed on her left side, and the healing Center closed around that time. Went through denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance and then died in 2004 at her home in Scottsdale, Arizona, and was later buried at the Paradise Memorial Gardens cemetery.
Since this is the art section of YAHOO Answers, here is a Kubler-Ross quote:
“People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.” (Elisabeth Kubler-Ross)
And since this is the ARTS section of YA let me also point out that Elizabeth Kubler-Ross was no relation to famous Revolutionary period fabric artist Betsy Ross, or famous Public Broadcasting painter Bob Ross either.
XBox Five Stages of Grief
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When people pose questions about the Stages of Grief Recovery they are often referred to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ Stages of Death. Her research showed what individuals would go through when receiving a “death sentence” from their doctor. In other words, they had a terminal condition and they were just given so many weeks or months, or perhaps years to live. Then they would go through 1) Denial; 2) Anger; 3) Bargaining; 4) Depression; and 5) Acceptance. In the media and on the net, these stages are often related to the grieving process which is completely wrong.
The Canadian Mental Health Association offers the following description of the Stages of Grieving which are in fact very accurate from this writer’s point of view. Someone did their homework here and cleared up a very important state of confusion.
Here then are the Stages of Grieving – See if they don’t relate to what your are going through right now.
Stages of Grieving – Canadian Mental Health Association
The death of someone close to us is one of life’s most stressful events. We fear loss of companionship and the changes it will bring to our lives. It takes time to heal and each of us responds differently. We may need help to cope with the changes in our lives. But in the end, coping effectively with bereavement is vital to our mental health.
If someone close to you has just died, we hope this pamphlet will help you understand that you are not alone in your feelings and that help is available. If you have a grieving friend or relative, this pamphlet will help both of you understand and cope with this difficult time.
Understanding grief
Mourning and the complex stages of the grieving process are necessary. Even though the present is felt to be intolerably painful, it is healthy and normal for a bereaved person to experience intense emotions and swift mood changes. These are natural reactions to loss.
It takes time to heal. The period of grieving depends upon the situation and varies greatly from person to person. Grieving is not a weakness; it is a necessity. Refusing to grieve is not courageous and may cause you a great deal of harm later on.
Grieving helps us to come to terms with the need for our relationship with the deceased and to re-focus our energies toward the future.
The Stages of Grieving
There are many different stages of grieving. The three stages outlined below are ones which most people will experience. However, people do not usually flow from the first stage through to the last in a logical order. Some people will jump back and forth between stages. The length of time it takes to go through the different stages will vary.
Stage I – Numbness or Shock – Immediately after news of death, you will likely experience a period when you feel very little except a sense of unreality. Some people have described this period as being enclosed in a cocoon, or as “sleepwalking”, through the funeral and necessary details which follow death. This stage may last for several weeks or several months.
Stage II – Disorganization – Eventually, nature’s protective shock begins to wear off, and feelings begin to come alive again. You may have some physical symptoms such as tightness in the throat, shortness of breath, the need to sigh frequently and extreme fatigue. Emotional symptoms can be even more distressing. Anger at the loved one for dying and the accompanying guilt may be overwhelming. You need to review the life of the deceased person and the events leading up to the actual death. You may agonize over things you believe you did wrong or things you think you should have done for the deceased. Most frightening of all can be the feeling of losing emotional control. It is a painful period of emotional upheaval but a normal and necessary part of grieving. Most people will recover but it can take weeks, months or, to some degree, several years.
Stage III – Re-organization – Eventually, there will be periods when you do not dwell on your loss, and you can focus on daily tasks. A great hurt is never completely forgotten; rather, it takes its place among life’s other, more immediate demands. Deeper friendships may be formed through the process of sharing. You may have a new awareness of the preciousness of life and of the value of people and experiences.
How to cope with your own grief
Be with caring people. Spend time with family, friends, neighbours, co-workers, and people, such as members of a self-help group, who have been through the experience of loss and grief.
Take enough time. Everyone reacts differently to a loss. It is hard to estimate a “normal” grieving period; it will probably take longer than you expect.
Express your feelings. Let yourself feel sadness, anger and other feelings. Find a way to express these feelings through talking, weeping, etc .
Accept a changed life. Recognize that you may be less attentive to your work and personal relationships for some time. Your routines may need to change – this is a natural outcome of loss and grief.
Reach out for help. Don’t always rely on others to make the first move; they may be concerned about allowing you your privacy. Let people know when you need companionship and support.
Take care of your physical health. Be aware of any physical signs of stress or illness you may develop. Speak with your doctor if you feel your grief is affecting your health.
Support others in their grief. Offer support to other family members and friends who are grieving, including the children. Be honest with the children about what has happened and about how you feel. Encourage them to talk about their feelings.
Come to terms with your loss. Move towards acceptance of the death of your loved one. Work through feelings of bitterness and blame which may get in the way of moving forward in your life.
Make a new beginning. As the sense of grief becomes less intense, return to interests and activities you may have dropped and think about doing something new. Consider forming new relationships at your own pace.
Postpone major life changes. Consider waiting a year or so before making big decisions, such as moving, remarrying or having another child. Your judgement may not be the best while you are mourning, and the changes may add to the stress you are already experiencing.
This is sound advice from the Canadian Mental Health Association. We would add the following recomendations. !) Acquire a good reading and/or book resourcethat you can access whenever you want and need to. 2) Try out a Grief Support Group in your area. 3) Join an online Grief Support Network where you can post your story, support others and receive support in turn. 4) See a therapist if your grief reactions are so overwhelming you feel you can’t function. This will be short term. For the long term, items 1 and 2 above are the most important.
About the Author
Maurice Turmel holds a PhD in Counseling Psychology. He was a practicing therapist for nearly 25 years providing counseling and therapy to individuals, groups, organizations and families. He is the author of “The Voice – A Metaphor for Personal Development”; “Mythical Times – Exploring Life, Love & Purpose”; and “How to Cope with Grief and Loss – Support, Guidance and Direction for Your Healing Journey”. He has been a guest on numerous National and Regional television and radio talk shows and has hosted his own shows at BlogTalkRadio.com, WebTalkRadio.net, AchieveRadio.com and BBS Radio. Websites:
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Death one of mans greatest enemies
Death one of mans greatest friends
Death is who destroys us
Death who can save us from anything and everything
For who can be as powerful and yet as diverse as death
Its power is overwhelming
It hurts us
It kills us from the inside out
Yet in itself, it comforts us
Reassuring us that all will be laid to peace
Death the new beginning
For what is death but new life
Like a seed, planted once shall grow and thrive
Or like dew evaporating in the summer air
Your new life will soon be death, and your death new life
Comforting,Reassuring,Loving
Death
He leads you into a fresh life
Where you right your wrongs
You say your prayers
Living life and dying death
Waiting for a new beginning
wow! it’s deep..and makes me really think about death and what it is and all… O.o
I love the first 6 lines but then at #7-8 “it hurts us” DUH OBVIOUSLY lol maybe you should change the words around or something… “It weakens and damages us inside and out; completely, consuming, and the anguish smothers us until Death takes it all away again…” or something like that i don’t know honey. hmm..well about the meaning of the poem, to me it sounds like the death of a good person…bad people go to hell so a fresh new life would suck hardcore for them, wouldn’t it? O.o Great poem all in all, I love it. <3
Thank you for answering my question
edit: you deleted ur answer...ur horrible D; i take back what i said about your poem being great O.O jk jk lol
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I am writing a narrative based on the poem ‘The Raven’ by Edgar Allen Poe … any help?
Hello,
I have an assignment in which I have to write a narrative with is derived from a theme from a particular poem. As I always tend to make things harder for myself (it’s more fun!), I have chosen the epic and great poem ‘The Raven’ by Edgar Allen Poe.
The themes within this poem mainly consist of:
– Someones journey to insanity after the loss of a loved one (a tormentuous mind)
– Trying to forget and remember a loved one at the same time
The problem I am having at the moment, is that this poem is already a narrative … and for the assignment we have to come up with a story different to the one told in the poem (i.e. using theme’s, rather than the actual story). We cannot just retell the story.
I was wondering if anyone out there had any ideas on a quirky, cool story which uses the themes based in ‘The Raven’?
Thank you to everyone who chooses to answer!!!
x
P.S. I hope I made sense
yeah, write a story about what happened to the raven before it got there, maybe it was sent from heaven with a message from Lenore
* Lost A Loved One *
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